Are you a giver?
Maybe you feel like you’re the kind of person that gets energy and life from others around you. That when you go out and serve it fills you and makes you feel amazing.
In Bob Burg’s Go Giver, he provides the 5 laws of Giving:
Value: Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
Compensation: Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
Influence: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
Authenticity: The most valuable gift you have is to offer yourself.
Receptivity: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
A powerful and insightful book indeed. However, if you don’t go and read it, digest this one key take-away: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
If you aren’t able to receive from others, you won’t truly be able to give from your highest potential.
Peer Pressured Giving
You see, I’ve found a general pressure in the world telling to give. To give my time, my energy, my love, my thoughts, my ears, my heart, etc. Living in this space of peer pressured giving, I’ve found myself lost, confused, and stressed. Always feeling like I have to be the one to step up and give.
That is tiring. It’s energy draining. This “fake it till I make it” mentality only lasts so long. It also leads me to believe that my job is to solely help others in the world. A noble cause, indeed.
However, if we're constantly looking out at the world only pointing out the people that "need" or "should" get help, we're missing the point. The point is to help ourselves enough that the overflow is what is making the world a better place.
Fill Your Cup First
Maybe you’ve heard the analogy of the airplane. During the pre-flight talk, the flight attendants remind us that in the case of an emergency to put on our air mask before we help those around us. Why? Because if we put on someone else’s before our own we have less of chance of 1) Being able to live and 2) Being able to help more people.
The beauty here, for me, is that filling up our cup is a necessary piece of living. It allows me to find time to do things that give me life. I can go on a run or walk to get grounded. I can take a nap to reset and re-energize. I can share my feelings with a friend to take weight off of my shoulders.
It’s when I am able to be full, to feel fully me that the overflow comes. A space where I don’t become empty from helping others, but rather they are receiving my love and support because of the excess of my own care.
This isn’t selfish. This is self care. Taking care of myself to change the world from the inside out.
Need a kickstart to this whole Self Care thing? Try a BeRealCheckIn to take some weight off.